MY SAY: Waiting for a diet that tastes as good as it sounds
LIKE so many women, I am constantly looking for the latest trend in diets.
Yeah, I know, controversial subject.
We are not supposed to "go on a diet" any more. Diets are bad for us. The D word is a dirty word.
I've read all the information from experts, know all about "lifestyle changes".
But that doesn't stop me from falling upon any new diet information the minute I hear of it and fervently hoping this could finally be The One.
It never is. It never will be.
For a time back there I embraced the no carbs diet after I'd read a book telling me of the astounding benefits I would receive just by giving up carbs.
As a big-boned woman who loves her mashed potato, this was going to be a problem of insurmountable magnitude.
But the book had the solution. Substitute your beloved mashed potato with pureed carrots, pureed white beans, and pureed peas.
"Never again will you miss your mash," the book said ... or something uplifting like that.
So I raced to the supermarket for giant packets of frozen peas and fridge-sized bags of carrots and every can of cannellini beans on the shelves.
After I'd boiled the peas, steamed the carrots and rinsed the beans, I got out the old blender and away I went, adding a little chicken stock to season and a dash of chilli oil to spice things up.
"Forget about mashed potatoes, you're never getting them again," I told the hapless husband as I dolloped out a big mound of pureed white beans for his dinner and then plopped a dob of smooth peas next to it. The mushed-up carrots came last and if I say so myself, the plate looked very festive with its white, green and orange piles of carb substitutes.
We ate. And it wasn't too bad - providing you closed your eyes and fantasised that pureed white beans with chicken stock was actually mashed potato with a quarter kilo of butter and a litre of cream.
The next day I took the leftovers to work and on the weekend I made more of my colourful carb substitutes and continued my good work.
I did not, as you would guess, lose any weight. But I enjoyed my pureed carb-free goodies and persevered.
It wasn't until about day 14, as I scooped up yet another spoon of mushed-up carrot and a forkful of pureed beans, that it hit me.
"I'm eating baby food."
This was exactly the sort of food I fed my toddlers. Pureed pumpkin and carrot with a few disguised peas formed a big part of my children's lives until they were, oh, about 16.
I spent many long years pureeing vegetables - and now here I was, a woman who had lived long and dined well, eating the kind of food she gave to her babies in 1975.
Well, I felt a right idiot.
No wonder my work mates were giving me strange looks when I sat at my desk with my baby food.
"No carbs," I was tempted to shout at them as they gave me looks of pity.
"It's the new diet, The Next Big Thing."
Now I am waiting for The Truly Next Big Thing and hoping scientists at the CSIRO will not be long in inventing the no fat, no sugar, calorie free, cholesterol free, very-healthy-for-you Tim Tam.
I'm sure they are nearly there.