Nicholas Falconer

Online dating can open new possibilities

DO SENIORS want something different in love to teens, 20s or 30s?

According to psychologist and relationship expert, Jacqui Manning, some seniors just wanna have fun.

"They have thought about themselves, might be independent. In the 20s and 30s financial stability and careers are important." Seniors "can be more independent, may be supporting themselves. With that covered they may want fun and compatibility."

I asked her whether experience gave seniors the edge when looking for love.

"It can be surprising." She said that being single after thirty years of marriage presented a good time to "spend time on their own so can find out about who they are and get more understanding of themselves and their needs".

"If you're single it's a good time to think what am I looking for? What's important to me in a partner?

"Try to get clear idea about things."

As for online dating?

What Jacqui likes about eHarmony is that it's not a "quick find".

"It takes time and effort. It's a different approach, there's self-examination".

She said a client had found the process helpful. "It made her think about having kids, she realized it was important to her, clarified what she was looking for."

And can you create a connection online?

Jacqui said private messaging can be very intimate. "If you're openhearted leading up to meeting a person, the foundation of friendship is a good place to start."

Her take-home tip on romance and relationships is the "relationship bank account".

"You can't do grand romantic gestures every day," Jacqui said. "Romance is about thoughtfulness. The point is your loved-one is thinking about you."

She recommends daily gestures like looking at your loved-one while you are having a break, sitting with each other and connecting - even for just five minutes a day.

"Connect and remember what it is that brings you together."

She calls the bank account a "buffer zone" that can carry you through hard times.

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