Cheryl’s marriage to Jonathan implodes and she storms out on MAFS.
Cheryl’s marriage to Jonathan implodes and she storms out on MAFS. Channel 9

Marriages implode, couples swap on Married at First Sight

RESENTMENTS have boiled over at a booze-fuelled dinner party on Married At First Sight, with two brides walking out, one groom's secret drunkenly spilt and Donald Trump causing a couple to swap partners.

This year, not only are all the couples living in the one apartment building like The Block, but they'll also have weekly communal dinner parties. In previous series, the dinner party episode only happens once at the very end and it's truly the best time of the show.

Personal resentments are simmering and insecurities are festering. The exposure to other couples causes everyone to compare themselves and the night ends with everyone either drunkenly crying or drunkenly fighting. Everyone leaves feeling raw while questioning all the life decisions that led them to this incredible low point.

And now we're getting it weekly. It's really quite a gift.

At Wednesday night's dinner party, jilted groom Andrew makes a surprise appearance, sheepishly walking through the door and telling the room, "Daddy's home!"

It's mildly creepy. The only thing more surprising than his appearance is the fact he knows twins Sharon and Michelle because they play mixed netball together every Tuesday night.

Suddenly, the reasons why Lauren ditched him are making sense.

He clinks his glass and announces to the room that Lauren is a witch and everyone hoists him up on their shoulders and walks him to the dining table.

There's a lot of unhappiness in the room. Jonathan's still annoyed with Cheryl for admitting she wasn't really attracted to him, so he does his best to challenge the terrible stigma that surrounds filling your wine glass to the brim in public.

“I won’t be dictated to by society or that stupid line on the side of restaurant wine glasses.”
“I won’t be dictated to by society or that stupid line on the side of restaurant wine glasses.” Channel 9

Things aren't going well for John and Deb. Deb's still miserable and John still isn't Polynesian.

"It's looking grim," John told us at the end of their honeymoon before deciding to take off his wedding ring at the airport.

Deb's resentments are running high and, around the dining table, she lays out her side of the story even though no one asked in the hope everyone will point and jeer at John until he leaves the experiment entirely.

But it doesn't really go that way.

"He gave up on the wedding. I'm serious, you gave up on the wedding night, you dumped me on the wedding night," she says, holding Vanessa hostage while she rubbishes John within earshot.

John calmly explains to everyone what happened.

"This is the honest truth - tell me if I'm wrong - when we went back, she said, 'I couldn't be more disappointed in what you are. I'm shattered'," he says.

Deb reiterates for the seventeenth time that she had requested a Polynesian man thankyouverymuch and what was delivered did not match what she ordered and may she please have a refund?

"Don't keep talking over me. Can I speak?" she stares down Cheryl and the others, as they defend John.

“I have my receipts and I don’t see the problem may I speak to the manager?”
“I have my receipts and I don’t see the problem may I speak to the manager?” Channel 9

But Deb's had enough. She walks to the garden and picks up the handbag she bizarrely hid behind a bush and stares everyone down as she walks out of the party entirely and hops in a taxi.

"I'm just going home because I don't want to sit with a bunch of 30-year-olds who are drunk, siding with someone when they haven't even spoken to me about how I'm feeling," she tells us.

Speaking of drunk 30-year-olds, Scarlett is still bruised after Michael criticised her lack of direction on their honeymoon and suggested they're probably just friends.

He wants them to play nice in front of the other couples, but Scarlett has a different plan. She's armed with a secret and she's keen to play some Chinese whispers. And by Chinese whispers, I mean basically yelling the secret out at the dinner table so everyone here's it accurately. And then repeating it for those who didn't catch it the first time.

"You know what he does for a living? He's a strrriiipppper," she sneers. "I'm not allowed to tell anyone. I get paired with a stripper. Lucky me."

"The princess with the stripper," she taunts staring dead-eyed at Michael, waving an invisible lasso above her head and thrusting in her seat.

This was actually menacing.
This was actually menacing. Channel 9

It seems Scarlett has learnt a harsh lesson that I too have learned with a lot of straight boys.

“I swear I’ve never done this before bro.”
“I swear I’ve never done this before bro.” Channel 9

Meanwhile, Jonathan and Cheryl still hate each other and the other guests audibly comment on it in front of them.

Accurate. Channel 9

At first, Scarlett is totally annoyed at Jonathan for treating her new best friend Cheryl so poorly.

But suddenly, Jonathan does something that forces Scarlett to toss the concept of strong female friendships to the gutter. He says he's a Trump supporter.

The conversation that happens next is actually more perplexing than the whole "Lauren dumping Andrew" thing we were all obsessed about this week.

Jonathan: "I'm a staunch republican. I'm, like, NRA supporter."

Scarlett: "Me too! Pro guns! Pro life!"

Jonathan: "Hands down, I'd vote for Trump."

Scarlett: "Me too!"

Jonathan: "They need a shake up, they need a change of system."

Scarlett: "He's gonna be soooo good for them."

Oh my god what just happened.
Oh my god what just happened. Channel 9

With her allegiance to Cheryl immediately terminated, Scarlett is now in love with Jonathan.

But just as we're about to turn to Cheryl to sympathise, we find her in the process of shacking up with recently jilted Andrew.

“ ... And then I turned around and she’d just VANISHED!”
“ ... And then I turned around and she’d just VANISHED!” Channel 9

She's so enamoured by him, she takes it upon herself to salt and pepper his food which results in them rapping a Salt-N-Pepa song off-key and out of rhythm.

Just as Cheryl finds happiness with a man, producers march her away and lock her in the lounge room with the husband she hates.

They have an exhausting argument and throw around the word "communication" a lot.

"I'm done with this. No, honestly, I am," Cheryl tells him.

She huffs off and marches into the dining room sobbing.

"Can someone come with me? No honestly. I'm done. I got matched with the complete opposite person," she cries as Nadia runs after her.

"Now I understand why I don't even go for guys in suits. I can't deal right now, I just wanna go home. No, honestly I'm so done - he's so stuck up."

With Cheryl in a taxi - presumedly with Andrew not far behind - Scarlett takes it as a sign that Jonathan is up for grabs and prowls over.

"What's your star sign?" she whispers to him.

"Aries," he winks.

"Ooh, I'm Gemini. We're actually a good match."

And guys. I just checked. Trump's a Gemini too.

That's all the scientific research I need.

For more observations on chair-thrusting and other people's secrets, follow me on Twitter: @hellojamesweir

News Corp Australia

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