Eddy and Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous.
Eddy and Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous.

Goodbye Eddy, Goodbye Patsy

I HAVE heard you two crazy chicks are leaving us. Yes, you told the Daily Mail, Event Magazine reporter that the party is over. 

Sweeties, Darling, really, really. 

Together you Edina Monsoon and best mate Pat Stone have furiously braved the rocky roads of the sodden 60s. 

Your stoic determination to throw your yourselves into life's big parties has been inspirational.

You have let nothing stand in your way. At times your legs gave way beneath you, most of the time your vision was blurred and your language slurred, but you soldiered upwards and onwards. Never let it be said that you ever missed a party.

Onya girls, you rocked through the 70s, 80s, 90s, through communes, orgies and big crazy, absolutely fabulous business deals. 

Eddy you gave birth to the sensible Saffie and Patsy, if the rumours are true, your operations worked perfectly.

I know the inhalation of certain substances has at times collapsed your nostrils and sometimes one too many injections saw your rosy lips appear to throttle your face.

But your hair was always up and I believe Dolly Pardon's dictum relates very well to you - the higher the hair the closer to God. 

Yes, Patsy you were often floating off the planet and closer to spiritual beings than the average earthling.

And that's why we loved you. 

You were so much more than the average earthling - you could drink more, smoke more, snort more. You had fabulous friends in high places. 

In your quest to stay young, fabulous and relevant you revealed the crazy fads, the useless vanities, the pointless parties, ponderings and pandering to nobodies that we all do at some time or other.

You were stars of the shocking, of the satiric.

The truth is, I'm as selfish as you.

And you know that when it came to staying young and fabulous your selfishness was hard to beat. You let absolutely nothing get in your way.

and sometimes one too many injections saw your rosy lips appear to throttle your face. But your hair was always up and I believe Dolly Pardon's dictum relates very well to you - the higher the hair the closer to God. 

Yes, Patsy you were often floating off the planet and closer to spiritual beings than the average earthling.

And that's why we loved you.  You were so much more than the average earthling - you could drink more, smoke more, snort more.  You had fabulous friends in high places. 

In your quest to stay young, fabulous and relevant you revealed the crazy fads, the useless vanities, the pointless parties, ponderings and pandering to nobodies that we all do at some time or other. You were stars of the shocking, of the satiric.

The truth is, I'm as selfish as you. And you know that when it came to staying young and fabulous your selfishness was hard to beat. You let absolutely nothing get in your way.

But I haven't got your clout, your finesse, your joi de vivre, your fabulosity, so I will simply raise glass after crystal glass of Bolly to you, bid adieu and thank you for the absolutely fabulous time and promise to go wild at just one your party.  In your honour, of course.


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