LAST night's penultimate episode of Bachelor In Paradise saw three deeply loved-up couples - and one pairing still struggling to connect.
Tonight's finale starts with Sam and Tara, Keira and Jarrod and Ali and Grant all preparing for the season's climactic commitment ceremony. All seem like they'll go through with it: Tara's talking about bringing Sam home to meet the family, while Keira says Jarrod "makes me feel like I'm the only girl in the world" (excellent Rihanna quotage, babes).
For Megan and Jake, though, it's a different story altogether: Megan knows she can't go through with a televised commitment ceremony with a man she doesn't love.
"Like, we're right before the commitment ceremony and we don't know what we're doing. That doesn't inspire confidence in me," she tells Jake, who says he feels "terrible" at the not entirely unexpected news.
Bags packed, Megan then makes a hasty exit from the show, leaving Jake to just sort of wander around the resort feeling depressed and hoping they haven't finished the bar tab yet:
THE COMMITTMENT CEREMONIES
Keira and Jarrod
As he walks towards his pivotal meeting with the woman he now considers his "soulmate", Jarrod delivers quite the monologue:
"I'm ready to do this. I've been training for this for 32 years now, and I'm a bull at a gate. And I just want to be released and I want to run in there and SMASH IT OUT."
Keira, you in danger girl.
As they hold hands under the palm trees, the pair finally exchange 'I love you's', and seal their new love with commitment rings as the OTT soundtrack strings swell.
"I feel honoured to call you my girlfriend," says Jarrod, a pronouncement that leaves Keira "hyperventilating."
Jarrod tells Keira that when it's the right time, he'll swap her commitment ring for an engagement ring.
We're not sure if this qualifies as "smashing it out", but well done to the both of them.
"I now have a girlfriend that will be my future wife," says Jarrod, sounding more like Tommy Wiseau than ever.
I'm still not over the fact that Keira has been the most sensible person on the whole series. She was a total ratbag on Bachie#BachelorInParadiseAU— Nez (@fraggle73) April 30, 2018
Ali and Grant
Will Grant propose to Ali? He has form - he proposed to a girl on his US stint on the show.
Ali heads into the commitment ceremony hoping that they make their relationship "public" - apparently she's unaware that she's actually been filming a TV show these past four weeks.
Ali tells Grant she's "looking forward to the day where we can raise our children together in a home full of peace and love and happiness," presenting him with a commitment ring.
Grant does not freak out despite having known Ali for approximately five minutes, telling her: "I already know I want to, and I will, spent the rest of my life with you." He, too, gives her a commitment ring and she looks ... kinda disappointed:
Lady were you really expecting a marriage proposal at the end of this?
Tara and Sam
If there was any lingering doubt that these two's early friendship hadn't blossomed into romance, tonight's episode ended it: They were shown lazing around in their dressing gowns the morning before the commitment ceremony, having spent their first night together in a suite at the resort. Host Osher Gunsberg filled in the blanks on Twitter.
Curse that PG rating.
These two are properly loved up, and Sam's walking into the commitment ceremony with a plan: "As soon as I see Tara, I'm going to drop down to my knee and I'm going to ask her to marry me." (Act surprised, Australia).
Seems they both have marriage on the brain, because Tara's rocked up to the ceremony wearing what appears to be a late-80s bridesmaids dress:
She gives him her commitment ring and tells him: "I love you and I want to be with you forever."
Sam REALLY lays it on with his speech: "You've been an incredible part of my life. And some might say that's a short amount of time. It's not. I feel like I've had the liberty of waking up next to you for years. It just feels that way. I adore you. I'm proud of you. I'm so proud of the woman you are and the woman you're going to continue to become," he says - quite a lengthy monologue for a man who insisted he'd propose the second he saw her.
But wait! Suddenly he's on one knee:
"It might seem crazy, but it's not. And I've said it to you 1,000 times in my sleep. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You're incredible. Will you marry me?"
It's an instant yes from Tara:
"I feel like I'm dreaming. It's such an exciting feeling. I was so excited to just go home with Sam and now, like... ..I'm getting married to him and we have so much to plan and I'm so happy," gushes Tara as the newly-engaged couple walk off into the sunset together.
Bet Ali's pissed.
Congrats Tara - but your story's not over yet. There's still one thing Australia needs from you...
"I'll never try to change you"— thingy (@mcthingface) April 30, 2018
FOR GOD'S SAKE AT LEAST WORK ON HIS HAIR#BachelorInParadiseAU