A joke a day keeps the doctor away

TIME to smile:

AN old guy walks into a bar and the bartender asks for ID. "You've got to be kidding," he said. "I'm almost 60 years old." The bartender apologized, but said he had to see the license. The guy showed his ID, then paid and told the bartender to keep the change. "The tip's for carding me," he said. The bartender put the change in the tip cup. "Thanks," he said. "Works every time."

A wise old man celebrating his 100th birthday got a visit from a local television reporter at the nursing home to interview him. "Are you able to get out and walk much?" the reporter asked. "Well, I certainly walk better today than I could a hundred years ago."

While visiting a retirement community, my wife and I decided to do some shopping and soon became separated. "Excuse me," I said, approaching a clerk. "I'm looking for my wife. She has white hair and is wearing white shoes." Gesturing around the store, the clerk responded, "Take your pick."

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to playing cards a few times a week. One day when playing cards, one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends a long time, but I just can't think of your name. I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"


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