15 jokes about ageing to give you a giggle
IF YOU can't laugh about it, what's the point... right?! So here's 15 jokes to give you a giggle:
- 1/ At my age, the only pole dancing I do is holding on to the safety bar in the bathtub.
- 2/ We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads. I'm just really intelligent and my head couldn't hold any more, so I started filling up the rest of my body.
- 3/ A nice thing about aging and losing your memory is you meet new friends every day.
- 4/ A nice thing about aging is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
- 5/ A nice thing about aging is when you lose your glasses they're usually close by, like on your forehead.
- 6/ Did you hear about the 83 year old woman who talked herself out of a speeding ticket by telling the young officer that she had to get there before she forgot where she was going?
- 7/ This old guy was talking to his neighbour telling him about the new hearing aid he just got. "It cost a fortune, but it was worth it. It works perfectly." "Really," said the neighbour. "What kind is it?" "Ten thirty."
- 8/ You know you're old when you take a nap to get ready for bed.
- 9/ You know you're old when your head makes dates your body can't keep.
- 10/ You know you're old when you use valet parking to avoid losing your car.
- 11/ A 84-year-old man went to the doctor for a physical. A few days later the doctor saw him walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. The next time the doctor saw him he asked how he was doing. "Great," said the old guy. "I did just what you told me, 'Get a hot momma and be cheerful'." "I didn't say that," said the doctor. "I said, 'You've got a heart murmur. Be careful'."
- 12/ A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.
- 13/ Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
- 14/ You know you're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.
- 15/ You know you're getting old when you lean over to pick something up off the floor, you ask yourself if there is anything else you need to do while you are down there.